My Resurrection
I'm beginning to come back to life.
Every step I take is agony. Every moment drags on. Every breath without him is yet laboured. Him. Even now I cannot, by my lips or by the ink of my pen, form their names; those who are a part of my tragic story.
The tears come less and less, but the pain remains the same. Perhaps it is only that I now begin to discover within myself the strength of which he has spoken so often. Perhaps he was right all along. Of us all, I am the strongest. He has certainly not the strength I saw inside of him before, that the words once said to him in cold heart and empty soul must be left unsaid to me even in love.
But he is lost to me now, and must remain so. For the love of all the hearts entangled in this, I must consider him dead. And I am resurrected.
........................................................................................................
I was told once that when you part with someone, the parting in itself is a death, and must be mourned as such. And that is what I've done. Prior to my relationship with this man, my life had seemed so desolate of anything!
In our last few days together, he recited from memory the chapter Of Beren and Lúthien from Tolkien's The Silmarillion. I then purchased to volume, having read The Lord of the Rings several years previously, and turned each page lovingly. He had returned to me my love of reading, of writing, and of discussing the two.
And so after careful research and much deliberation, I joined BCF, which can be found here . BCF stands for Book Club Forum. After only a couple of weeks I feel right at home. I have had light discussion, amusing banter, and heated debate. Everyone has a very mature attitude and are friendly and approachable. I have even found myself offering critiques on pieces in the Writer's Corner, and am now building the courage to share some of my own work with others.
For months I've had this blog, and patiently it's waited, like a blank page. Now at last I've found the inspiration to read, write and ramble!
Every step I take is agony. Every moment drags on. Every breath without him is yet laboured. Him. Even now I cannot, by my lips or by the ink of my pen, form their names; those who are a part of my tragic story.
The tears come less and less, but the pain remains the same. Perhaps it is only that I now begin to discover within myself the strength of which he has spoken so often. Perhaps he was right all along. Of us all, I am the strongest. He has certainly not the strength I saw inside of him before, that the words once said to him in cold heart and empty soul must be left unsaid to me even in love.
But he is lost to me now, and must remain so. For the love of all the hearts entangled in this, I must consider him dead. And I am resurrected.
........................................................................................................
I was told once that when you part with someone, the parting in itself is a death, and must be mourned as such. And that is what I've done. Prior to my relationship with this man, my life had seemed so desolate of anything!
In our last few days together, he recited from memory the chapter Of Beren and Lúthien from Tolkien's The Silmarillion. I then purchased to volume, having read The Lord of the Rings several years previously, and turned each page lovingly. He had returned to me my love of reading, of writing, and of discussing the two.
And so after careful research and much deliberation, I joined BCF, which can be found here . BCF stands for Book Club Forum. After only a couple of weeks I feel right at home. I have had light discussion, amusing banter, and heated debate. Everyone has a very mature attitude and are friendly and approachable. I have even found myself offering critiques on pieces in the Writer's Corner, and am now building the courage to share some of my own work with others.
For months I've had this blog, and patiently it's waited, like a blank page. Now at last I've found the inspiration to read, write and ramble!
posted by Vanwa at
06:50
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